what to write in a card for a premature baby
Very premature infant - how to welcome them?
(41 Posts)
OH thinks it insensitive to send congratulation card at present, when his survival is non certain. I worry that if we don't it volition await we don't think his inflow should be historic. Family don't want anyone to visit right now so tin't see how they are taking it and react appropriately.
sunnytimes Sat 12-Jul-08 20:14:20
I think a card of some sort would be squeamish - maybe a blank one with your ain message written in maxim, "Welcome X, thinking of you all" or something?
I piece of work with several families of very premature babies and they usually like their baby's arrival to exist acknowledged.
I had premature twins; one survived, one did non. I was gutted when in hospital and everyone had cards, flowers, even big bloody balloons and I had... Null. In one case my gorgeous boy died no one sent annihilation as they did not know whether it was okay to say congratulations for my stunning fiddling girl or not. And then I was left with zilch and felt very lonely and that no one cared. Giddy only there yous are. Even five years on I nevertheless wish I had something to admit that even for brusque time we were blessed by two babies.. So purchase a tiny little prem outfit (they will non take many things) and a beautiful card and put in the card exactly what you are feeling. We are so overjoyed your infant is here. We are wishing you and your trivial i lots of force and good wishes for a swift home coming. Time plenty for commiserations if it tragically goes wrong. She will actually thank y'all for your good wishes I am certain.
Sunnytimes, Underrated I actually similar the welcome, hoping to visit when you're potent plenty combination. Thanks. I was going to visit soon anyway but plans are obviously on agree now.
I know someone who had a very prem babe. I was talking to her DH'due south brother who said 'I recollect we'll just expect till the baby'due south home to get a pressie'. I told him I would be ownership a gift as I had washed for anyother infant and sending a card. I didn't want the mum to feel like people were waiting for something to happen before welcoming her fiddling one.
tatt I had a prem baby and was in hospital for weeks with him and it was lovely getitng cards and gifts from people, even though his survival was uncertain. In such a traumatic time information technology was overnice that some things that you lot expect to happen when you accept a infant still happened, it was reassuring and comforting.
The prem clothes people brought where particularly appreciated as patently I had notihng that fit him. Also, some friends brought circular cooked meals for my freezer and that was a godsend as obviously I had no time or inclination to melt.
Is the mother saying in infirmary too? If and so she might appreciate some good food brought into her, I know I did.
Kayran - crossposted. He is as well pocket-sized for whatsoever clothes notwithstanding and I'm not sure if hospital allows flowers, I'll have to check what's permitted.
yep mum is nonetheless at the hospital, birth is very recent.
i'd send the menu, babe's presence is to celebrated evem if information technology does become short lived iyswim.
My sister appreciated gifts like photo albums when dn was in nicu,equally she took o many pictures, pictures being all she had of him when she wasnt in nicu with him
thanks - photograph album is a adept idea too.
how about something nice for the mum and so for while she'south in infirmary? I hated the time on hospital, felt like I'd been robbed of a normal birth feel, and appreciated when friends brought in chocs, flowers, and other luxury nibbles for me. sOMeone brought me a couple of big bottles of fruit smoothies, that was really dainty as I didn't feel like eating but it gave me some much needed nutrients and free energy.
i wld transport a carte. Also i fabricated my friend some meals to freeze and a few cakes too when her prem was in hospital - i'1000 certain cooking will exist the concluding thing on there mind, and information technology will help them
guifts for mum v good thought
i used to postal service my sis big bundles of mags too (she herself was five ill for a while and frequently stuck in bed away from dn unable to encounter him)
How-do-you-do Tatt,
It's definitely not insensitive to acknowledge the baby'south nascency. My SCBU would non allow apparel from outside to be brought in anyway to cut downwards on cantankerous-infection risk, but you could yet get an outfit for the baby for when he hopefully comes dwelling house if that'south something you would have done anyway, or maybe a soft toy if you lot don't feel comfortable with getting clothes for him. Even if the infant dies, equally somebody else said, the parents will have evidence that the child lived and that the world recognised him while he was alive. If the mum is going between home and infirmary, could you send flowers to her home instead.
Hope it turns out ok for your friend.
10-posted with everyone else! Cooking great thought or some high calories treats - I blimp chocolate downwardly all the fourth dimension DS was in hospital, just needed the calories big time.
The ane matter I would Non put in the carte is near 'we were hoping to visit' etc because so the mother might feel that you were having a dig at her for non allowing visitors. I know it might sound unreasonable merely I did have exactly this from my best friend. She said she was upset that I did non desire visitors to my husband and then he told me. Naturally I over reacted (moi?!) and thought 'she's upset...' Of course, what she meant was I wish I could visit and give you a shoulder to lean on. Information technology is a very unnatural enviroment and you alive so precariously that all y'all tin can think nearly is your little bundle.
Food is a very good idea. I practically stopped eating as they always seemed to evangelize meals whilst I was away from the bedside.
Married man bought me a cross stitch magazine that had a free souvenir on the front end that had a footling teddy sampler and the threads and the needle. I had never done that sort of thing before but it was for beginners and only should have taken a couple of hours but of grade took me forever. That was squeamish as it gave me something to do. If not the magazine you can get actually little sets from Tescos now. And just make it a teddy or something cute (lots of Winnie the pooh out in that location) and so if all is ok she can give it to baby. If non it served it'southward purpose in giving her a few minutes of freedom from worry.
definitely ship a congratulations menu - dd2 was a 27 weeker - and just to have her best-selling as any normal full term baby would have been - meant everything to me, whatsoever the event might have been. NICU and everything that goes with it is hard enough without thinking that people can't congratulate you on your new baby in case information technology dies.
Hello Tatt
I know I would take wondered exactly the same in your position. Not sure how very premature your friend's babe is (maybe more than mine?) just every bit a mum of a recent 29+ weeker, I would definitely say yeah to a card (and present if y'all like). Similar OMDB I loved receiving cards and presents for my DS when he was still in infirmary. His early inflow was totally unexpected and we were in a big state of stupor, simply I was actually touched by all the well wishes we received, and somehow all the positive letters and congratulations fabricated me feel more positive. Information technology as well helped us experience some of the joy and excitement which does come with a new infant, even one which is tiny and struggling in hospital, and fabricated me feel more than "normal" - similar the new mum I expected to be, even when all was very stressful and uncertain.
Plain anybody is dissimilar and it is hard to know how your friend will be feeling. Just I think it is very unlikely she will be hurt by a sincere message of congratulations/welcome and support, and she could well be injure by hearing nothing, even if it is well-intentioned.
For what its worth, I loved wearing apparel, toys, a momentoes box, books, anything really. And yes, chocolates, cakes and home-cooked meals were too a winner.
Hope this helps and all works out well for your friend and her little one
i would send neutral menu as acknowledgement of arrival, kind reassuring words for parents amd babe
mayhap some size 0 prem nappies (boots,Mothercare,Tesco)maybe some prem apparel Boots Mothercare. hard to source and parents are tied up at NICU
I retrieve its Ok to mention visiting "when he'due south stonger" (hope and so equally I've sent the text). She knows I couldn't come immediately anyhow (commitment with the chidlren and the altitude, had talked of going side by side weekend) and so wouldn't demand to feel guilty about non wanting visitors nevertheless.
The infant was only 25 weeks, and then very premature, but plain he'due south doing slightly improve than expected.
Yeah, definitely send a carte du jour and present just as you normally would-DS3 was prem and very ill at birth, but information technology was very hurtful when his birth was not acknowledged. As others have said, you long for things to be normal at a very stressful time.
Oops sorry Tatt - consummate reversal here - she will exist touched that you are thinking of her and want to requite her that shoulder to cry on 
.
I had a premmie who thankfully survived, but those early on days are a rollercoaster. I would 2nd what kayran said - a carte du jour, and pocket-sized item of clothing which will belong to the infant and will e'er be kept, whatever the outcome, would be a lovely thought. Fifty-fifty if the baby is too tiny for wearing apparel, how about a chapeau? My infant wore a tiny hat right from the word go. I call up there is something special nigh having a tiny detail of clothing, however pocket-size, as it is something which actually belongs to the baby IYSWIM. And a card, just a pretty card with your ain message inside is perhaps the more of import thing of all. Accept it from me, whether this infant survives or not, the parents will desire more than annihilation for people to acknowledge that they accept had a precious kid.
my friend had prem twin boys at 28 weeks.
I automatically sent a welcome to the world card and two piffling soft toys equally I knew at best they would be in hospital for a while.
Sadly one of them died when he was iii ays old.
I was annoyed at myself for jumping the gun, but on talking to my friend she was delighted to have some special things to put in his retention box. The little teddy took the final journey to the crematorium with him.
I would transport something if you desire to, what always happens they take had a baby and he/she should be welcomed. IMO
Bring together the word
To comment on this thread you lot need to create a Mumsnet account.
Bring together Mumsnet
Already accept a Mumsnet account? Log in
Source: https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/premature_birth/566381-very-premature-baby-how-to-welcome-them
0 Response to "what to write in a card for a premature baby"
Post a Comment